crying, just crying
omni2 was screening this on TV tonight.
I realized this was not the kind of movie that would do well on the small screen.
simply because of the commercial that break up the flow too much.
especially when you are about to bawl,
you see a familiar face like Aurelius stand with that swagger
trying to sell you the latest model car.
but i still managed to tear a little.
not that there is anything to cry about a guy who is unwilling to move on.
i was tearing more for Kou's character
the girl who sacrificed her leg
and perhaps her own happiness
to marry a man who can never love her as much.
she will never occupy the same space as Aki.
she may never be good enough.
reminds me somehow of Harlem.
who has probably wasted all his life to get such an answer to his insecurity.
i somewhat have this feeling that i would end up this way.
second best to someone who was not meant to be.
i guess when one turn 25 an suffers from quarter life crisis,
this is all that is in one's mind - insecurity.
i remember when i watched this a few years back.
i can barely be touched.
i thought it was because it was in the theatres after Ima Ai ni Yukimasu,
and it cannot live up to it.
(talk about second best for a film that talks about being second best)
but come to think about it
how do you beat a film like this?
on the side, I've noticed that
now that I'm of the "ripe old age" of 25.
there are more things going on around me
or rather I have a better sense of things now.
And I end up getting all tears more often.
More things get to me.
I managed to chow down the whole of Code Blue the last few days.
it was quite an awakening.
some years ago, when I was young
and believed that I can one day become a doctor.
(because I watched a few HK medical dramas and daydreams just ran wild)
it seemed very easy.
but come to think of it,
after this 11 episodes, and a couple litres of tears la
I think it was good that I gave up on that ambition.
First, you need a good set of brains - which I think have a not bad one, just not good yet.
Then you need the stamina - ho ho ho, which I don't have.
And you need the psychological strength to be responsible.
Everything you do affects peoples' lives.
Every move you take can alter a person's fate.
I wonder if every doctor wannabe thinks about this at all.
That you have to be capable of handling this responsibility.
You really have to love all people, including yourself.
I doubt I can do that...
But I think I should seriously consider my goals now,
since with film and TV,
I have the power to put beautiful looking people on screen
and make professionals look damn good at what they're doing.
Maybe one day, another kid who is truly passionate can be inspired to take on the mission.
what to do with your boring white wall...
when you have tons of time to upload and figure out what you want
have a handful of free photo credits on your snapfish account
(yes, a wei, i know it's actually your credits...
but the account is still under my name.)
you'll be able to do the same to your wall.
i'm still missing hiro aka namba senpai.
i have no idea why i left him out of the list.
and also william so.
i also have no idea why i left him off the list.
another out of school week... PLS HELP TO VIEW N' VOTE
this past week has been rather productive i dare say.
went out with wanting, li ning and lin ling last sun
had dim sum... delish~!
wanted to pop by the new AGO but everyone else in town was there.
the lineup went around the block
so we decided that we should just walk towards the santa claus parade.
and later on, a short chat at wanting's.
then managed to make some cash in that day.
or rather well into the next day.
monday was rather productive.
and no pun intended with productive.
but we did produce a short commercial.
i'm going to be outward with this.
please help to view and vote for our video...
cos nicki and I do really need the money.
http://www.directorschaircontest.com/theatre.html
you don't have to like it.
but the number of views and the rating would have a effect.
SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... click and rate as many times as you can.
thank you so much~!
i dare say if i win, i owe my life to you.
i think it is almost a tradition to not sleep the night before someone goes home.
jin jin has gone home to be more productive.
after being our talent for the day, we treated her to destiny.
i think the last time we went there was probably when we got nicki the jacky cheung poster.
or rather melvy did.
and we all came home, to edit, to write and to just not sleep before a flight.
slept about 2 hours before we sent jin off.
gosh, it's winter.
'cause even tho nicki and i were sleepy when we left.
we chilled ourselves up when we dropped jin jin off.
二哥又出缉了！
二哥！我也想你在我的婚宴上唱 “家后”~！
为了四个人的幸福
如果有幸认识苏永康...
就很有可能认识张学友
（当然，如果回到Sef以前住过的公寓也可以碰碰运气）
那么，William, Jacky, Nicki 和我
都会享受到相知的幸福吧？
what do you do when you...
i think that this is long overdue
especially when i was obsessed over other things.
i don't think i wrote about my life at all for about a month.
maybe it's because there wasn't much happening.
checked out this "new" hangout near metro (dominion has changed...)
bong sushi...
nice ten-cho - mr. bong and i dare say best chirashi one can find in 100 miles.
and if you get there later around closing time,
mr. bong would prolly bring extra slices of sashimi to you mid meal.
yesh! i know... it's thick luscious sashimi for the good ol' price of $8.95...
man, why didn't we know about this place when sef was around?
on the same night that we (jin, sx and i) headed out
i realized how homely my life has been.
we went for dinner... we go grocery shopping
but we "discovered" the novelty of cutting your loaf to your desired thickness at metro.
interesting and option will be explored again to make brick toast...
my new roommate is here for a couple of weeks already.
name in short: juli
and guess what? she has the same zodiac as julie
which sort of explained why she reminds me of julie sometimes
and it is true...
she said some things just like julie (i have to say, they use the same words, it's like a direct quotation)
they seriously should meet each other.
we all went out for bbq buffet the night the strike was on.
and then karaoke.
wasn't celebrating for the strike.
just happened to do so.
karaoke was improv-ed but i love it.
well, remember... karaoke is my fave sport.
nothing much happens in my life.
mini updates:
i was successful with making a banana loaf bread
chocolate banana cookies (excess bananas from making french toast)
and replicated corn chesse from soban.
went out to pac mall with just sx one day (mini date day)
bought shinsengumi!
and then discovered a bento box for onigiri. bought it. used it the next day.
kuma-chan did a wonderful job "protecting" my korean-store-bought-onigiri.
and sx introduced me to erm... 陈村河粉!
so remember Baron Chen... the hot gangster background Taiwan actor that I prefer over Ethan Ruan
(in case you don't, now you know i guess)
well, his fans named themselves 河粉, derived from his mandarin name... ya-da ya-da...
i don't eat the 河粉 but i'm glad i'm one?!
sigh... 河粉
in an attempt to know myselfYour view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
(but man am i stubborn after i decide. i only stay on one side.) The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
(i don't judge? maybe. but the person does have to be pleasing to the eyes.
AND IT'S BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT I'M NOT ATTRACTIVE TO OTHERS' EYES...) Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
(HUH?!!) Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
(i like the idea of "unusual"!) The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success. How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you. Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. just to clarify...i think there is a tremendous misunderstanding.
despite the seemingly endless line of celebrity men that i fancy,
(i say seemingly because there are those that I can never quite bring myself to like)
i don't treat them as THE ONE.
and that is very true.
i have a list that goes on in my head.
(and sometimes i write it here just so i don't forget.
perhaps also for future reference and reflection.)
there are people who are potential husband material.
i dare say character wise because i'm quite serious when i say
i am destined to marry someone who looks more like a human bird.
(the picture in the middle is just an idea of
what i would like to put as the cover of my invitation cards.)
but the rest of them,
(the list is long but at the same time, exhaustible.)
are merely potential dates.
people who are fun lovers but not really marriage material.
and the men in the bigger squares.
BROTHERS!
as in remember the many brothers i would have had
if, as the fortune tellers say, my parents were married at the right time etc.
i would want these men to be my elder brothers.
this may not be very out of blue.
but i just thought of this after shuxia mentioned that
she thought i went to nara in search of the "deer man" / tamaki
and nat agreed and said that i probably went to japan
for more than one potential husband.
mind you, this happened on the same day.
(tsk tsk... and i thought nat would know better.)
p.s. and i might compile a collage of men
who are more "sister" material. I want HIM to sing at my wedding
I wonder if I were to become friends with Rynn,
(It's not impossible. Singapore and M'sia are so close. And I know people in his record company.)
close enough to sing at my wedding,
would my husband-to-be mind?
Well, that's a nice thought to ponder about.
Especially since I have no husband-to-be and no wedding to honour yet.
to the otaku-girl in me
i still trust asian artists to bring me some comfort while i read and write.
just that the playlist gets exhausted pretty fast.
(esp when you understand half of the song no matter what language)
i had to move on from WaT's collection because i'm starting to be able to sing along (bad for studying)
my new obsession?
perhaps. afterall rynn is my second favourite malaysian boy.
(he has knocked gary of the runner-up position ever since gary got new scary red hair.)
anyways,
this mv is my dream now.
yes, and trust me, i am an otaku.
note worthy...one sleepless night leads to two days of upset schedules.
sleeping at 1am then waking up at 12 noon is not efficient.
but when was i ever bothered about efficiency in terms of time and money?
(geez... haven't grad school taught you anything? haha...)
but one thing good spurs from all this sleeping.
i dream.
yes, i do.
if daydreaming isn't enough, i get my due when i sleep.
today's dream was interesting.
lots of issues involved.
somehow some things have been solved in life
and i was staying with my mom and sis at a serviced apartment overseeing clarke quay. woohoo!
we head down to walk around one night
and bump into my aunt (the second one)
somewhat awkward but she owns a restaurant near clarke quay
offered to ask the chef to make us something that we can eat "as a family" at my place
strange.
and as we were walking back.
there was a light/fireworks show going on and i paused to watch
while my sis and aunt crossed the street.
missed my turn.
so i just stayed at that spot to wait.
along comes this other nice cantonese speaking family whose kids had a distinctive british accent.
my mental note: oh, they went to school in london
the eldest boy stood too close to me.
as in upper arm leaning on upper arm kind of close.
awkward.
did talk a little to the family but generally nothing much.
got back to the apartment and my editor was here to show me an edit (wah!)
beautifully shot!
it was a scene with kimutaku and an actress who was a cross between maggie Q and shu qi
romantic escape but action packed.
stuck on the 20th floor of a hotel (perhaps because the girl's dad was rich, etc.)
they decided to get out for the night through the fire escape.
yes, all that sliding down 20 floors.
omg! it might have been a production nightmare but i was in a definite filmmaker coma.
overdosed with production ecstasy! 黑暗中漫舞i am adjusting well to this routine.
and one would think that it is not as simulating as life can be.
but i like routine and structure.
it calms me.
i cannot think of anything better than filling the air with eason when i write
and hitting the beat to moriyama while i read.
to the human hermit, routine is her shell.
and this is particularly calming...
黑暗中漫舞
為何未能學會起舞便已抱緊你
誰料到資質不配合你
左腳舉起了便要別離
為何未能讓我衰老便要放開你
陪你跳通宵都夠力氣
請鑑別姿態美不美
學跳舞 有福氣 手差點撲地
猶如自卑水銀瀉地
* 學愛你 美不美 天黑黑到地
朝著了壞的燈泡舞著別離
其實地球沒有你 站到虛脫便會飛
何必怪責雙腳 未夠伶俐 不比你優美
為何未能待我差到讓我去憎你
捱到這傷口激發士氣
左腳高舉到白髮齊眉
為何未能待我好到沒法捨得你
頑固的車tire 追了萬里
先發現一早洩光氣
Repeat *
為何未曾讓我得夠便要損失你
捱到那一天參透佛理
手會鬆燈會滅有限期
為何未能讓我死去便要認識你
難道你很想天使問我
我的舞步跳得可美 crying for some CHANGE
this is probably the first time i would tear over any narrative concerning politics.
and i can tell you it has NOTHING to do with kimu-taku playing the lead.
heard rave reviews about the series through spring and summer
but did not have the time to watch it until now.
(not that I have more time but it is just because this was next on the list
for "what to do during my breaks from reading?")
and i have to say this cannot come at a better time,
Singapore is going into recession after the global economic shake-up;
our government is finding their way into our bedrooms to make us churn out more babies;
and local representation's "best" solution for tension between citizen and foreign workers
is to put them on curfews.
i think it is nice to see that there may be an alternative to leadership.
kimu-taku's character in the series is Asagura Keita,
a elementary school teacher turned prime minister.
(yes, it sounds utterly outrageous until you watch the series)
he hated politics, left home and moved to another rural city
so that he can be a teacher and watch the stars at night.
all until his father and elder brother died in a place crash.
the city needed representation and he won everyone over
by apologizing for his father's 20-yr old decision to receive bribery from a local company.
the party then thought that they can make use of this political-idiot
and hence pushed him forward to become the prime minister.
but he was no dummy,
he raised a very valid point during one of his debate
"i haven't been speaking much because i cannot understand you.
And i don't think that our people understand you either.
can we not talk about this in simpler terms?
so that even my grade 5 students can understand."
(bravo!)
and later when he spoke publicly during his prime minister campaign
"those who stand above the people and speak,
who place their interest above the people's,
who cannot see the world from the people's eyes,
cannot be a politician.
our country has become so ugly that i cannot even promise my students a future as a teacher.
i do not have a choice in becoming a politician
but i feel that i am lucky
because this way, i can promise
to see your world with the same eyes,
to hear your voice with the same ears,
and to work all that i can with the same hands."
(touching!)
what really made me tear (at the end of ep 4),
was on his very first day of being prime minister,
his office of secretaries forced on him a huge stack of documents, wanting him to sign without reading.
he said no. he will not sign what he has not made clear.
they gave him a whole storeroom of documents.
he takes no sleep for the next 2 days
to understand fully if the government is to be blamed for the jellyfish situation at one of the ports.
turns out the dam that the government built was the cause.
he tells the party leader who was sent to convince him just sign the document
and claim that the government is not responsible so that the national budget can be kept in black.
he replied
"is the national budget more important than these people's livelihood?
what to us is negative for a year concerns these people's lives!
are we that important that we can ignore their suffering?"
he returns to the port later to visit the fishing families,
and tells an old lady who offered him grilled fish
"i am sorry, granny. i will try to make it possible to fish here again."
cue the tears here.
wouldn't it just melt your heart one day if the leaders of your country
shows you in action that your happiness is above theirs
and that they would do whatever it takes to make life a lil' smoother for you?
i know i would cry yes!
another reason to adore 林芯仪...
see the resemblance?!!!
no wonder one of my first impression of 林芯仪 was
"man, this girl is hot.
And anyone can SEE that she has talent.
the kind that no one can mess with.
And she is one smart 22 year old.
mental note: personality idol."
ho ho ho. no surprise that i have craig's voice playing in the back of my head going,
"hmm... remind you of anyone?"
P.S. the girl on the right is Jia. yes, my friend/idol.
落雨聲落雨聲
作詞 - 方文山 作曲 - 周杰倫 編曲 - 陳飛午
落雨聲 哪親像一條歌 誰知影 阮越頭嘸敢聽
異鄉的我 一個人起畏寒 寂寞的雨聲 捶阮心肝
＊人孤單 像斷翅的鳥隻 飛袂行 咁講是阮的命
故鄉的山 永遠攏站置遐 阮的心晟只有講乎山來聽
來到故鄉的海岸 景色猶原攏總無變化
當初離開是為啥 你若問阮阮心肝就疼
你若欲友孝世大嘸免等好額 世間有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命
嘸通等成功欲來接阿母住 阿母啊 已經無置遐
Repeat ＊
你若欲友孝世大嘸免等好額 世間有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命
出社會走闖塊甲人拼輸贏 為著啥 家己嘸知影
你若欲友孝世大嘸免等好額 世間有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命
嘸通等成功欲來接阿母住 阿母啊 已經無置遐
哭出聲 無人惜命命
======
因为黄靖伦注意到星光三班，
然后发现苏永康也常出现。。。
多听了几集，
就喜欢林芯仪的歌声。
最后在毕业典礼，她唱了这首《落雨声》
让我这个哭点极低的游子，
又浪费一叠纸巾。
要珍惜啊。。。
“你若欲友孝世大嘸免等好額 世間有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命
出社會走闖塊甲人拼輸贏 為著啥 家己嘸知影
你若欲友孝世大嘸免等好額 世間有阿母惜的囝仔尚好命
嘸通等成功欲來接阿母住 阿母啊 已經無置遐
哭出聲 無人惜命命“ 能睡会长肉！广东话有句俗语，
“能睡，会长肉！“
有听外婆和妈妈说过，
我一直有点不相信。
但事实证明 - 这是真的！
上个星期有几天失眠，早上量体重的时候，是真的有瘦几磅。。。
睡眠恢复正常的这几天，发现。。。复胖了！
难怪刘德华常年都是瘦的，
原来认真过生活的人，真的有个样子对照的。
看来，要加油了，
坚持#1 - 不要做个贪睡小猪。 勤快的小老鼠，加油！ 坚持最近在想，我有很多“坚持”
其实是不是好事？
前两年，因为“坚持”
有点烧伤了手，
所以有想放弃。
身边有个朋友，
尝尝过着一种我所谓的“没有坚持的日子”
乍看之下，
没有“约束”的日子还蛮不错的。
[ 不在乎其他人的眼光，生活算是快乐的。]
但是我发现，要过这种日子，
好像是得从小训练的。
没有纪律，才会没约束，也才没有坚持。
[ 要做到不在乎别人的眼光，要先学会听不到他们的闲言闲语。]
我想，外婆要我们学家乡话和她沟通开始，
我的生命就注定要有坚持。
现在，我要做到的是
坚持到底，活得开心！ 梦见苏永康天气一变，就病倒了。
人生病是不是比较脆弱啊？
听歌都特别有感触。。。
唉。。。
何必搞得处处可怜的？
甚至梦见苏永康！
不过，那么的关心，可惜只有在梦里。
我醒来问 Pepper，
“阿姨嫁给苏永康好吗?"
她一脸迷糊。。。
我再问她，
“苏永康作你的姨丈不好吗?"
她一脸不削。。。
无言。 the last warm weather weekend...
i've been back in T.O. for a little over two weeks
and we've already been out and about for so many things.
korean bbq buffet, mid-autumn barbecue-turned-indoor-Wii-night,
and yesterday's dinner with Singapore's High Commissioner at Hilton.
and not to mention roommates' nights out.
graduate school has been okay so far.
i haven't actually experienced the tension that everyone has been psyching me up for.
perhaps i was thinking more of to do my stuff than to outshine someone.
plus the people around has been friendly.
has made the "executive" decision not to compete in OGS.
because i haven't got enough time to prepare well for it.
and like shuxia says, "it's not like it's a lot of money, or even money that is worth your competing."
and prof ruth suggested that i might do better working on publications.
moreover, perhaps my work permit will come by soon
and i can get that job at H&M.
why wouldn't a girl want a job around nice clothes?
P.S. even since the sunflowers, i've been having dreams.
good ones, those that consists of key scenes for possible drama series.
including a kissing scene with tony leung (and it's chiu-wai, mind you!)
亲亲Jin Jin 宝贝！
it feels almost wrong to be this gaga with Jin.
(and searching for videos like this on youtube)
but this song is darn cute!
I am not talented enough to write a song on my own.
except those that you take the lyrics and go crazy with translating it.
but i think a few of us should applaud this creativity.
亲亲jinjin宝贝
宠爱你不累不累
每一天给你的爱是一千倍
亲亲jinjin宝贝
陪伴你夜空很美
把快乐都告诉了全世界
everyday
House!
House is back!
And boy, do I miss him.
I am amused every time I tell people that I wouldn't mind marrying House
or in fact, I would like to be with someone like House,
people go, "huh?!"
But he is a rather intelligent man,
and well, he earns good money since he's a doctor;
Plus, he shares my opinions on certain big issues.
He's just sarcastic, but I find things he say funny.
I know, I know, I'm just different.
Side note:
Communication graduate classes "feature" more male students.
Interesting.
But I wish they all have better glasses...
Hana-Dan 1995!
i don't think that it is news that i adore hana yori dango.
but hana yori dango 1995 is a whole new discovery
i now understand why Fujiki took that pivotal role in the 2008 version.
because he is Rui!
and he was cuter than i thought.
i mean not to mention Domyoji '95, cute too.
In case no one recognizes him but finds him vaguely familiar,
he's Kujyo-sensei in Gokusen 2!
(i know... i gasped a few times too~)
from certain angles, he reminds me Ryo.
sigh~
another year, another summer
was home for a grand total of 6 weeks this summer.
met up with some close friends rather often.
had drinks and dinner with the squad.
hung out with my lil' sister a whole lot.
ate some fabulous food.
went to eason's concert!
and worked a whole lot (in style).
a very eventful summer.
convocation, graduation, family woes, scholarship woes, work, etc.
i think i dealt with most rather well.
i could be more at peace with certain things
but i feel it will come with age.
it felt good turning 24.
although it can be scary but i think i cannot quite wait for 25.
life is good and it will be better.
Men in Glasses
since watching conan the detective in live action by shun
i think i've been noticing men in glasses.
moreover, the accesories trend this year (for both men and women i believe)
has been highlighting the good ol' black frames.
now i think i have a fetish...
'cause i actually had a rush to grab hold of this taiwanese actor on tv.
oh and mind you he is not one of those pop idols...
he does taiwanese family dramas.
GASPS!
told you... asian men and glasses = HOT!
but i think my current favourite would still be baron with his cheeky monkey impression
F.A.R. Special - Food in Japan!
from Top Left, to Right, to Bottom:
1. Japanese-style stir-fried pork (1st night's dinner/supper)
2. Japanese rice dumplings with green tea ice (high tea in Nara)
3. Hokkaido cheesecake (breakfast from Family Mart)
4. Fresh salmon (supermarket in Nara)
5. Ebisu light brew (sample tray, 4 brews for 400 yen)
6. House special ramen (Yokohama ramen museum)
7. Curry Omu-rice (Namba shopping area curry house)
8. Takoyaki (Osaka castle stall)
9. Gion Bento (Shin-Osaka station)
10. Summer special ramen (Yokohama ramen museum)
11. Okonomiyaki (Dotonburi oko-restaurant)
12. Ebi Rice Burger (Mos Burger in Nara)
13. Mixed veg Rice Burger (Mos Burger in Nara)
14. Ebisu dark brew (refer to #5)
15. Chocolate banana (Asakusa matsuri stall)
16. Chirashi-don (Department store)
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